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Brina, A Few Feet Away

March 30, 2012

This is the Photo Prompt from Madison Woods:

Come up with a story, 100 words, more or less, based on the above picture.

Brina, A Few Feet Away

Sebastian opened the Ford’s stiff-hinged door and climbed in.  Brina stood a few feet away near the high grass.

“Ain’t ya coming in?” he asked.

“Not sure I should trust you.”

Any other time he would tease back but behind the wheel of the old pickup felt like sitting in church.  It wasn’t always that way.

“You all right?” Brina said, getting in.

“My dad wants to junk it.”

“What, you want it?”

“It’s not that.”

“What then?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Brina slid closer. “You miss him.”

She did understand. He rested his hands on the warm and dusty steering wheel.

29 Comments leave one →
  1. TheOthers1 permalink
    March 30, 2012 3:54 pm

    Aww. Objects retain the memories even when the person is long gone.

  2. Brandon Scott permalink
    March 30, 2012 4:18 pm

    This makes me miss my dad. There isn’t much that brings out that particular emotion. Good Job!

    My story:

    • March 31, 2012 5:36 am

      Brandon – Thank you. I’m humbled that what I wrote brought back good memories for you. I think maybe my own memories are what inspired me to write it.

  3. March 30, 2012 5:10 pm

    Wow…touching…I liked the dialogue and then sentiment…thanks

  4. March 30, 2012 5:24 pm

    Aw. Sometimes we have no control over the consequences of someone leaving or dying… I wonder who it was.

    • March 31, 2012 5:38 am

      Well, that was part of what I wanted to leave open for the reader to fill in. Thanks for the insight.

  5. Lora Mitchell permalink
    March 30, 2012 8:14 pm

    It’s called relating to objects and retaining the memories…great for writers. Here’s mine:

  6. March 30, 2012 10:32 pm

    That was lovely, nostalgic and wistful. I’m glad she understood.

    • March 31, 2012 5:43 am

      I wanted to have questions about their relationship hover over the main focus of the story, moving her closer to him until the end when he knew where they stood. Thanks for commenting.

  7. March 30, 2012 10:38 pm

    Memories seem to run the gamut in the posts this week–guess we all relate to the prompt in one way or another. 🙂 Looking forward to more of your posts.


    • March 31, 2012 5:45 am

      Thanks for the compliment. I enjoy the prompts. I can test out ideas and get constructive feedback.

  8. R. N. Fontenot permalink
    March 31, 2012 7:53 am

    Very sentimental memories. I like to think he finds as much comfort as he needs in both the beat up truck and his friend.

    Thanks for replying on my site!

    • March 31, 2012 4:30 pm

      I like to think he’s found someone who can share what’s important. Thanks for stopping by.

  9. March 31, 2012 1:34 pm

    Very emotional response to this one! Wonderful dialogue 🙂

  10. April 1, 2012 1:53 am

    Nice take on the prompt. I read it a couple of times and keep stumbling on the “What, you want it?” line. It disrupts the flow of the exchange for me but I don’t know why.

    Thanks for commenting on my piece.

  11. April 1, 2012 3:25 am

    Well, that showed that Brina can see both sides. Sensitive girl, sad son. Very well done.



  12. April 1, 2012 7:57 am

    I really like this. You say so much but leave the mystery to the reader. Excellent use of dialogue to draw the reader in.

  13. April 1, 2012 12:13 pm

    Great! I love the way that you portrayed his fondness for the truck. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  14. April 1, 2012 1:28 pm

    Captivating tale here…i enjoyed the pace of the dialogue and the inner meanings to it

  15. Madison Woods permalink
    April 4, 2012 1:07 pm

    This one very nearly made me cry. Great story and I’m so glad she understood.

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